En nog eentje

Monday : 16 Jun '03 - 09:06 | admin default

Vrijdag werden er vrij veel vage onzin dingen op het werk doorgestuurd, maar deze is wel zo goed dat ik die jullie niet onthouden wil. Klik op meer voor het hele verhaal.

Tips From Bartenders (for the next time you're out!)

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked

if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered.

Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The

results:

IF WOMEN DRINK...

Beer:

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool



Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella:

Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.

Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.



Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g.; Scotch and soda, Martinis etc:

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants

Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.



Water:

Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.

Aproach: Don't



Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask):

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Bacardi Breezer, Mike's Hard or other Coolers

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has

absolutely no clue.

Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.



Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.):

Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and

naked.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait...



IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)



Cder: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor/student and wants to get laid.



Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.



Imported Beer: He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.



Guinness: The man is Irish and will get laid one way or another.



Water: He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so

that he can still get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image

and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound would screw a warm scarf. Desperate

to get laid.

Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.



Whisky: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who

will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about

feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting

laid.

Rum or Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.



Bacardi Breezer, Mikes Hard Lemonade, Smirnoff Ice, OTHER COOLERS etc: H's

gay (blatantly)...say no more.